Dance lessons with the Cook
by DangoCorn
Summary: In which Zoro asks Sanji to teach him how to ballroom dance.
1. Chapter 1

Hellooo 8D!

Just as a headsup, this is not a Zoro x Sanji fic…In fact, the story has a little Zorobin. BUT YES, THOUGHT I'D POINT THIS OUT BEFORE YOU STARTED READING. Oh and, it's rated T for the language. Just in case, y'know.

This will be approximately 2-3 chapters long (or short) HAHAHAHAHA . haha...

**_I don't own the display picture._**

* * *

_Zoro_ gave his hair a harsh ruffle as he paced back and forth in front of the men's quarters. He glanced around the deck before shoving the door open and walking in. He could already feel blood rushing to his frowning face. He heard soft movements coming from a few of his sleeping nakama, so, as quietly as he could, Zoro made his way to Sanji's hammock. He gave his rival a few slaps on the face.

The cook muttered incomprehensible curses before looking up at the source of slaps.

"Ehhh, Zoro you asshole, do you realize it's still four in the fucking morning?" Sanji inquired irritably. Nonetheless, he sat up in his hammock, padding down his messy hair.

"Cut the complaints, you shitty excuse of a cook," Zoro shot back as he fiddled with his swords, already regretting what he was about to do. He made eye contact with Sanji before walking out the men's quarters. The cook got the message and followed him out.

Taking out his morning cigarette, Sanji leaned on the mast. "I wanna get more sleep, marimo. Don't stall, what is it?"

Zoro gritted his teeth, a few sweat drops running down his face.

"You, uh…" he began, "You can dance, swirly-cook, can't you?"

The mere moment of silence felt like a millennia to the swordsman, who already felt embarrassed enough to be doing this. The cook's confused expression made Zoro's patience quiver.

"For the love of God, don't make this harder on me," Zoro shot at him, who was more than obviously surprised at his nakama's question.

"What, you want lessons?" Sanji asked, giving a short, sarcastic laugh.

The swordsman didn't respond. Immediately, Sanji's cigarette dropped onto the deck. He gave Zoro a bemused look.

"Holly mother of nature, you want me to give you _lessons_?!" he repeated.

Zoro couldn't for the life of him look at Sanji in the face. The cook was so shocked he couldn't even allow himself to break into a fit of laughs.

"Wait…you mean…for the dance party Luffy thought would be fun to have?" Sanji asked.

The swordsman kept shifting his eyes.

"Who?" the cook asked. Zoro could barely contain the awkward aura that now filled the air.

However, he refused to answer.

"If you don't tell me who you're doing this for, you can guarantee you won't be getting any damn lesson from me."

Zoro's voice was tiny."Robin."

The cook leaned in. "Eh? Who?"

"FOR THAT DAMN WOMAN, OKAY?" Zoro snapped. Sanji's eyes widened.

"Man, if you'd been doing this for Nami, I would've busted your ass," Sanji replied as he bent down to retrieve his cigarette.

He shot Zoro a playful grin.

"I'll teach you. But in return, you had better do your best to give her the dance of a life time. We got a deal?"

"Tch…" Zoro muttered, heading towards the crow's nest. He could feel a smile tugging at his lips. "Deal."

* * *

Sanji took off his blazer and rolled up his sleeves. Placing his hands on his waist Nami-style, he examined Zoro.

"What you're wearing won't do, idiot," he said. "Hurry up and change. We don't have much time, they could be back from shopping any minute."

Zoro refused, and Sanji had to, much to his dismay, work with Zoro wearing that annoyingly long jacket of his. With a sigh, he offered his hand to the swordsman.

"Oi, oi…we have to…make physical contact for you to teach me?!" Zoro asked in disgust.

"Then who are you gonna dance with, a blazing manikin?!" Sanji snapped. The swordsman cringed. It seemed as though he was thinking of backing out, as he had taken a few steps away from the cook. However the part of him that wanted to do this for Robin won and he ended up accepting Sanji's hand.

"Come on, marimo, put your hand on my waist," Sanji instructed, placing his hand on Zoro's shoulder. It took about five full minutes for Zoro to actually do that after he threw a fit concerning how _Guys should never be in that kind of position. It's a disgrace_.

"Well sorry to break it to you, but you're gonna have to put up with it," the cook said. He looked down at his feet. "Alright. When I take a step back, you take a step front. Easy peasy."

When Sanji took a step back, Zoro took a step to the right. The cook raised an eyebrow.

"Oi, I said you take a step to the _front._"

Zoro took a step to the left.

"Are you messing with me?!" Sanji raged. "I said to the damn FRONT!"

"Your instructions are hella confusing!" Zoro yelled back. The cook took a deep breath before pointing at the ground.

"You foot is _there_," he said, pointing at Zoro's foot. "You want to bring it _here_. Capisce?!"

"You should've said so from the beginning!" Zoro argued, placing his foot in the right place. It took the highest limit of Sanji's patience to stay calm.

"Now you do the same move with your other foot. Understand? Or do you want me to repeat the instructions so that little brain of yours could comprehend it?"

"Acting like I'm a damn one year old isn't gonna do either of us any good, love machine."

The rest of their lesson carried on with impatient comments, irritable yelling, and way too much" _stepping-on-each other's-feet_". They had set up music to help with the lessons, however, that had its consequences.

They didn't hear someone approaching the crow's nest, where they were holding their lesson. The door swung open and in came a bewildered Nami. The sight she was beholding was both completely horrifying and utterly hilarious.

After all, a scene of their terrifying swordsman placing his hand on his rival's waist was quite humorous.

"Oi, Zoro, stop stepping on my foot!" Sanji snapped.

"If you gave better lessons, you wouldn't have to _deal_ with my foot!" Zoro yelled. As they did a very unprofessional twirl, Sanji noticed Nami by the door, the most amused expression etched on her face. He could feel his face burning up. Immediately he gave Zoro a panicked look before they broke apart.

"Nami-san! Welcome back!" Sanji greeted, though his voice showed a hint of nervousness. "You're back…early!"

"Aha, thanks, Sanji-kun. So tell me, what were you two doing?" she inquired, a wicked glint in her eye. The dance partners exchanged suspicious glances before turning back to Nami.

"Is this what you two always do when you're left alone on the ship?" she asked, the innocence in her voice sending chills down their spines.

With a heavy sigh, Zoro made his way to the navigator and led her to the middle of the room.

"Is anyone else back?" he asked. Nami shook her head.

"Nah, I came back early to finish up a map. So much for _that_."

"Lemme guess. If we don't tell you what we were doing, you're gonna raise my debt?" Zoro said irritably.

"Pretty much. Good job, Zoro! You know your place well," Nami replied proudly.

Zoro looked back to Sanji. "Ehh. Ero-cook is teaching me… how to dance."

Nami blinked a few times before rolling her eyes. "Funny. Now, what's the _real _reason?"

"I'm teaching marimo how to dance, Nami-san," Sanji repeated, the seriousness in his usually bubbly tone making her believe his words.

Her laugh reached the heavens. Zoro gritted his teeth.

"H-H-Hold on…" she said, struggling to catch her breath. "_Why?!_"

"You usually have it your way, but I swear to God if you don't stop that laughing of yours…" Zoro warned. Nami waved her hand.

"Okay, okay!" she surrendered. With a contented sigh, she tilted her head.

"Ah well, I assume you don't want me to tell everyone else, right?" she asked.

"I'm not giving you any more of my money, Nami," Zoro groaned.

"Don't worry about that. I actually have an idea who you're doing this for, so for that sake, I'll keep my mouth shut," Nami told him, smiling as she noticed his ears turning pink. With a wave of her hand, she turned to the door.

"Have fun, you two!" she said. "If you need any girl advice, I can help. And for God's sake, if you don't want people catching you, turn down that stupid music!"

* * *

By far, I think this is the weirdest thing I've written.


	2. Chapter 2

Much to Zoro's misfortune, Sanji ended up asking Nami for help.

"Stop refusing, baka! I'm no woman, and you're not only gonna be leading a woman in the dance, you're gonna be leading Robin-chan. Now suck it up and watch us!"

The swordsman muttered irritable comments under his breath as he settled on the bench of the crows' nest to watch his two nakamas ball dancing. _Not something he'd like to be doing but, what the hell, better than dancing with Ero-cook._

However, he was afraid he was going to be watching a blood shower coming from the cook instead. He was, though, proven wrong as Sanji was taking it quite seriously. [_After, of course, a little less than an hour of fangirling over the situation._]

While dancing with Sanji, Zoro couldn't fully appreciate how good the cook actually was at it, seeing that he was only focusing on trying not to step on his nakama's polished shoes. Not that he cared about Sanji's shoes. Yet, he _did_ care about Robin's feet.

When Nami and Sanji started dancing, they were both so good at it that he felt a twinge of uncontrolled jealousy. They were both very graceful dancers in contrast to him, who was very stiff.

He started understanding the instructions that Sanji had been trying to tell him. Slowly but surely, he was learning.

When they stopped, Zoro could see a trail of blood streaming down Sanji's nostril.

"I'm surprised he didn't break down any sooner," Nami remarked, taking deep breaths before turning to Zoro, a sly smirk on her face. She offered him her hand. "Your turn."

The swordsman cringed, wondering if dancing with Sanji was a better idea. Putting his hand on Nami's waste felt wrong, as he felt like he was betraying Robin.

_You're not even together with her, Zoro, get a grip, _he thought, accepting her hand.

"Ehh," he muttered as the music started. It was definitely easier to dance with a woman (as you were supposed to). And having her shorter than the man also helped-

"Shit…" Zoro snapped in the middle of the dance, which caught Nami by surprise.

"What?" she asked, pausing.

"Robin's taller than me," the swordsman pointed out bluntly. Sanji laughed.

"Pshh, don't worry about that, you goof," she replied, waving her hand. "If it'll make you feel any better, I'll make sure she doesn't wear heels. And you can borrow one of Sanji's high shoes. It could help."

"Do you realize how tall that woman is?!" Zoro said, rubbing his neck. "Gee…"

Nami and Sanji exchanged knowing looks.

"Zoro," Nami said, turning the music off. "Listen..."

"Huh?" he asked, noticing that both his nakama were getting far too close to him.

"You now know the basic dance moves. But aside from that, you need to know the basic steps of being a refined man. Constantly calling Robin "woman" in that harsh tone of yours is no good," Nami explained.

* * *

"Ahh, my dearest Robin-chan, may I have this dance?" Sanji offered in his utmost gentleman tone, taking Nami, who was playing the role of Robin, by her hand.

"It's not that hard, Zoro. Give it a try," Nami instructed. With a loud groan, Zoro got off the bench and stood in front of her. He cleared his throat.

"Uh…wanna dance?" he asked.

"You idiot, say it more gently!" she argued.

Zoro clenched his fists before trying again. "Will you dance with me?"

"Will you dance with me, _Robin-chan_," Sanji corrected.

"Will you dance with me, _Robin_?" Zoro asked, his patience at its limits.

"His voice is too harsh," Nami pointed out to Sanji, as if Zoro wasn't able to hear her comment.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not gonna replace my vocal cords for your sake, Nami," Zoro snapped, completely fed up.

"Oi, this is Nami-san you're talking to, be a little tender, will you?!" Sanji scolded.

"Ughhhh! Just give it up, I'm no damn gentleman, and I'm more than sure Robin won't give a shit about it!" Zoro shot out, stomping back to the bench and lying down, ignoring the glares from Sanji.

"What are you doing?!" Nami yelled.

"I'm gonna take a nap, or do I need your permission?"

"Tch. At least he learned a few dance moves," Sanji said, taking out a cigarette. "You had better not mess up tomorrow's dance, shitty marimo."

* * *

"It's too tight…" Zoro grumbled, fiddling with the tie Sanji had fixed for him. "Gee, how do you wear this thing every day?"

The cook was too busy applying gel to his hair to care for the swordsman's tie crisis. He made an exaggerated twirl and spread out his arms in front of Zoro.

"Eh? Whatdya think?" he asked. Zoro gave his nakama a quick scan.

"Uh...gorgeous," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Nami barged into the men's quarters, closing the door behind her. She stocked towards Zoro.

"Zoro. If you mess up _once, _or step on Robin's foot, I'm busting your sorry-ass. Understood?" Nami threatened.

"Gee, what's up with you? I won't mess up," Zoro replied. She gave his head a slap before walking out to the deck.

"Marimo, don't you dare harm Robin-chan's delicate foot! Focus while dancing, you hear?" Sanji said. "Or you'll be facing my leg."

Luffy's voice shot out from outside the men's quarters, interrupting them.

"OI! ZOROOO, SANJIII! YOU'RE LATE!" their captain shouted eagerly. Sanji nudged his head towards the door. Before the cook walked out, Zoro grabbed him by his jacket.

"For God's sake, you'll wrinkle it!" Sanji snapped, looking back. "What?!"

"Oi, Ero-cook…" Zoro whispered. He rubbed his neck. "I didn't think of this but uh…what if Robin doesn't wanna dance?"

Sanji cocked his eyebrow. With a sigh, he turned to look at Zoro. "Listen up here. I don't usually admit or even notice when a woman is attracted to someone other than me. But I can guarantee you that she's gonna wanna dance with you. Now, let's go before Luffy breaks open this door and drags us out himself."

Once they walked out to the deck, they noticed Luffy dressed in a white suit, specially sewn by Nami. He grinned.

"This is gonna be so much fun!" he exclaimed. Zoro scanned the deck until his eyes fell on Robin, who he was used to seeing in a dress. However, her usual let down hair was pulled up. Nami sent Zoro a wink, which caused him to turn his head away in irritation.

Brook stood by the railings. The violin's pleasant tunes spread throughout the Sunny. Chopper shuffled out of the kitchen and ran towards Zoro.

"Looking handsome," Zoro told him with a smirk. Chopper was also wearing a suit and his usual routine of wiggling about and spouting curses was subsided as Luffy let out a loud laugh. He swung his arm multiple times before flashing Nami a grin.

"NAAMIIII!" he yelled, stretching his arms towards her.

"L-Luffy! Wait! I just had my hair done!" Nami protested, backing away. However, her cries were in vein. Luffy was able to grab her by her waist and pull her towards him.

"Let's dance!" he said, his grin as big as the moon.

"Gee, my hair's all over the place now, Luffy," she complained, padding it down. She sighed, a smile spreading across her face. "Well then, let's see how well you can dance, captain."

"R-Robin?" Chopper approached Robin, who had been watching Luffy and Nami with interest. She looked down at Chopper, who was still in his usual little form. She smiled at him.

"Yes, Chopper?" she said.

"You….You wanna dance with me?" he asked, fiddling with his hat. A chuckle escaped Robin's mouth.

"That would be a pleasure, sir."

His face brightened. "Except…I can't turn big because the suit would rip…" he explained. Robin shook her head and bent down to pick Chopper up.

"That won't be a problem," she told him with a smile. Just like a child, he nuzzled his face into her shoulder as she made gentle movements and slow turns.

Zoro smiled, leaning back on the door of the men's quarters. He didn't mind waiting for his turn, in contrast to the cook, who was barely containing his jealousy.

"Why couldn't I have the first dance with Nami-san?!" he complained.

As soon as the first song ended, Sanji perked up and starting skipping towards Nami.

"NAMII-SWAAAAN!" he bubbled just before crashing to the ground as he noticed Usopp approaching her before him.

"Not bad, Luffy!" Usopp said. He looked at Nami and put one of his hands on his waist and the other, he shot in the air. "But I bet my dancing is better!"

"Shishishi! We'll see!" Luffy laughed.

"WHY USOPP, YOU ASSHOLE!" Sanji shrieked.

Robin put Chopper down and gave his hat a gentle pat. With a giggle, he ran towards Luffy and jumped on him enthusiastically. Robin straightened her back and laughed at the endearing moves of her little nakama.

Zoro could feel his stomach making summersaults as he walked towards Robin as slowly and as quietly as he could. He didn't want any commotion, and approaching her gradually was his best bet. He fixed his tie before appearing before her.

He started feeling flustered as he watched her surprised expression turn into a gentle smile.

"Uh…" he began.

_Come on, dumbass, just do it like they taught you!_

He knitted his eyebrows, running his hand through his hair. "Robin…"

The tension grew as her smile grew in size. She was anticipating his request, he guessed.

"Let's dance," he finally said, taking her hand gently and leading her to the middle of the deck. Sanji had been watching from afar, and Zoro could feel his glares piercing right through him.

_Okay, so it didn't go as planned, big deal…_

"I didn't realize you knew how to dance," Robin remarked as she placed her hand on Zoro's shoulder. Zoro shrugged.

"I don't. I suck at it. The only thing you can guarantee about this is I won't be stepping on your foot."

Or so he hoped.

"Don't expect anything dazzling," he told her, feeling twice as nervous as he had when he put his hand on her waist than with Nami. With a silent deep breath, Zoro began to lead the dance. Surprisingly, he found it easier to lead the dance with Robin than with Nami, who had been stiff due to not trusting Zoro with her precious feet. However Robin allowed him to lead, and had no problem going along with his moves.

"I wanna dance with Zoro, too…" Luffy whined quietly, receiving a gentle hit from the navigator.

"Is this why you and Sanji have been staying on the Sunny alone recently?" Robin asked quietly enough for only Zoro to hear. With a curse, Zoro maneuvered his eye away from the teasing eyes of the archaeologist.

"So what of it?" he demanded, not allowing himself to be distracted by their conversation and lose his footing. Robin chuckled.

"Nothing of it, Zoro," she replied. After a moment of silence, Robin decided to speak her mind.

"Why did you go to the trouble?"

_She had to ask…_he thought bitterly.

"Didn't wanna make a fool of myself if I was forced to dance," he told her, knowing very well she wouldn't leave it at that.

"Ah," Robin concluded. "So, asking Sanji for dance lessons is less embarrassing?"

"Maybe I just wanted to learn!" he said.

"You were afraid of showing yourself holding three babies, Zoro. Are you trying to convince me that asking Sanji for dance lessons is any less mortifying?"

"You didn't have to bring that memory up, Robin," Zoro argued, lifting her hand in the air and guiding her through a gentle twirl.

Robin laughed softly. "I've never had such a pleasure teasing someone as much as you."

The swordsman could already feel his face turning red. He let out an irritated _tch_. "Wow, I'm a lucky man."

Zoro knitted his eyebrows as he noticed there was no longer any music playing, and he could tell that Robin had realized it as well. They stopped dancing and glanced over at their nakama, who were staring at them in bafflement.

"Uh…you two realize it's been about five minute since the song ended, right?" Franky pointed out. Zoro's stomach made a flip as he and Robin let go of each other's hands.

"What babies was Robin talking about?" Nami asked, as curious as ever.

"Zoro, your face's too red…" Chopper remarked, concerned.

"My turn for you to dance with me!" Luffy exclaimed.

Zoro looked over at Robin, a crooked smile on his face. With her knowing chuckle, Robin tilted her head quizzically.

"I suppose we got too distracted, swordsman-san," she said.

"Yeah. Guess so."

The End 8D!


End file.
